My Natural Freebirth Story

Birth preparation

My birth experience was the most natural, empowering experience that I could ever imagine a human to have, don’t get me wrong. But it required a lot of preparation - mentally, physically and spiritually. It also required a huge amount of responsibility, as I was essentially taking my birth experience into my own hands by not following the ‘usual’ route of going to doctors, hospitals, etc. After sitting through a talk on natural, non-hospital births by an amazing organisation called 'When Push Comes to Shove' (https://www.whenpushcomestoshove.co.uk/) in February 2022, there was little question as to whether I would ever have a child of mine in a hospital. With most things in the world, I like to question "how did humans do this before the 'modern' world came along and saved us all" (lol). Humans have existed for millions of years, and so the idea that hospital births are the only safe option for childbirth seems pretty unbelievable to me. After becoming pregnant earlier this year, I decided to plan, organise and facilitate the whole birth experience myself, which some people see as ‘dangerous’ (totally fair because everyone is entitled to their own opinion and I’m not here to tell anyone otherwise). But I am here now to share some of what I have learnt this year, which led to a simple, straight-forward, empowered birth - in the hopes that it may change some people's perceptions on the inherent dangers of birth.

There is a common myth around women and babies in the past often dying in childbirth or early infancy, which is part of the reason people believe it to be so inherently dangerous still to this day. This is a huge misconception - however part of this myth comes from a time where it was actually true: in cases where poor hygiene in hospitals (they were literally using the same beds and equipment for dead people and women's labours...) and where poor living standards or malnourishment were causing illnesses or infections  - not the ‘inherently dangerous’ nature of childbirth.

In the past, many women in communities were experts on childbirth and it was treated a sacred ritual that was not dangerous… all until essentially a bunch of men came in and slowly convinced everyone that hospital births were the ‘safest’ place to give birth (also a lot more on that to come). And now it is more normal to go to a hospital for all your birth preparation and the birth itself, and a home birth is seen as a ‘brave’ option. This blows my mind to be honest and that’s why I’m so keen to share my experience and what I have learnt, in the hopes that I can empower more women to take control of their own birth experiences and not give away all their power to a system that will never prioritise them </3 

What I have learnt consistently (in different books, birth stories, and through talking to people who have been present in many, many births) over the last 9 months is that childbirth is quite literally the most natural of occurrences that humankind sees, and it is not an inherently dangerous act, as it is perceived by most people. This is something I plan to speak in depth about on this page in the near future because it breaks my heart to know actually how wrong that is (in most cases) and what experience people are being robbed of by this false narrative. 

Of course I am not saying that hospitals do not have their place in births - they are great for emergencies and ‘high-risk’ pregnancies (although a lot of people are also classed as ‘high-risk’ when they are not, like for example women over the age of 35 are sometimes classed as ‘high-risk’ simply due to their age. This I struggle to agree with inost cases…both of my Great Grandmothers had their last child at the age of 54. Something has clearly gone seriously wrong in the years since…which I will also discuss on this page in due course ;) )

But childbirth is far from an emergency requiring a medical procedure, and I can now speak from experience about how natural the whole process is and how (in most cases), if left to it’s own natural process, the body knows exactly what to do and will do it perfectly with very little chance of anything going ‘wrong’. You wouldn’t question any other mammal giving birth naturally so why do we think humans are so different? And what do we really think humans did before hospitals existed?

My birth story

Following months and months of intense preparation, my birth month finally arrived - October 2023. Myself and my brother were both born at 37 weeks and so somewhere in my mind there was the possibility of the baby coming anytime from then. But another part of me was pretty convinced it would come after the 12th, so I was not expecting an arrival before this date. 
The final week of pregnancy was tough - I had 0 energy to do anything but lie down, but I was also very bored and lying down/sleeping hurt my body - so everything felt a bit shit tbh. We had recently moved country and into a new apartment and so we had been quite busy up until the last minute. But thankfully (as we asked), the baby allowed us the perfect amount of time to settle in before making it’s arrival earth side. 

The 9th October started like most mornings had in late pregnancy, with me being achy, tired, and rather fed up of being pregnant. I had read all the preparation books I had planned to read, most of the birth equipment had been bought, and so we were pretty much ready for it to come at any time (just not expecting it). I opted out of the daily morning walk we had been doing because I was too tired and achy, and instead decided to get myself into the baby headspace (it being the Monday of ‘due week’ and somehow it always seems easier to start things on a Monday right?!). I made lists of things I still needed to do and get before the birth, and then while I did some preparation, my partner Jack went to the shops and got all the last bits we needed for the birth. 

My back had been particularly achy that morning and so around 3pm I decided to do some ‘labour preparation yoga’ on YouTube (which in hindsight was probably what got the whole process started). After that I had some noodles and then started to feel some pains in my lower stomach, which I initially blamed on the unhealthy choice of snack. I felt like I had learnt so much about birthing and so was sure that if there were any contractions, they would start at the top of my uterus and move their way down. It also felt a lot like period pains and I had been assured by other Mums that labour does not, in any way, feel like period pains (something I wholeheartedly disagree with because I’ve actually had way worse period pains than what I was experiencing that day). It also felt slightly like a bout of IBS I had experienced a few years prior and so I put the pains down to some sort of stomach issue/my body giving me cramps to slowly prepare me for labour - something apparently quite common towards the end of pregnancy. 
I had also not had any of the other ‘signs’ of labour that I was looking out for, like nesting, the mucus plug, or waters breaking. So me being my stubborn-ass self remained adamant that the pains were trapped wind, constipation, or Braxton hicks (early, practice contractions that some women get prior to their real labour) for a good few hours, dealing with the period pain-like waves that were getting more intense as time went on (writing this makes me realise how much like labour it seemed like from the outside but at the time I was whole-heartedly convinced I just needed a poo) in a number of ways. 

Alongside these period pain-like waves were some pretty intense back pain, and so around 8pm Jack suggested we put up the birth pool so I could ease the pains with some hot water (he said he knew it was labour at this point but didn’t want to debate with my stubbornness). This sounded delightful and so he started the process of getting the birth pool up so I could relieve my constipation (lol). Throughout this whole process I was so in tune with my body that I was doing all sorts of stretches and movements that I can barely remember now, but it was as if my body knew exactly what it needed to do and so I just tuned in and allowed it to happen. Even trying to converse with Jack was too distracting to the process - I just had to be in my own headspace and body and allow the process to flow through me.

 
Around 9:30 Jack suggested we call our birth attendant, who we had spent the last few months preparing for this experience with, to explain the current situation to her. At this point I was still totally adamant that it was a poo trying to come out, or some trapped wind, and so she advised us to just keep a close eye on the situation and to try to get some rest if I could, as if it was labour we could be in for a long night. Rest was the number one thing on my mind but seemed to be the last thing my body wanted! The pains didn’t ease much at all but my coping of them definitely improved, and I managed some small bowel movements so things seemed to be easing off very slightly - but I was still convinced there was a poo or a fart trying to make it’s way out so I continued to attempt to get those out while trying to reduce the pain I was experiencing. 

 
Around 11pm during one push for a poo, we noticed some blood coming out, then shortly after, at 11:11 the mucus plug dropped, and I suddenly realised that this was not quite a poo and was indeed the baby making it’s way out! At this point I had a feel inside and could feel the head - something that had not been there a few hours before! Everything just seemed to speed up 100x at this point. I was getting some pretty strong urges to squat and push and so I followed the urges, each time feeling the head getting closer and closer to it’s exit. As it had all happened so quickly, Jack was in and out of the room getting other bits sorted, like heating up towels, but in no rush as we still thought we were in for a long night at this point. But after the penultimate push, I could feel the head very close and so I had to call Jack in to tell him I think the baby is closer than we thought… I can’t quite remember when the amniotic sack broke (was during one of the last few pushes), but Jack had just about made it back into the room when one last urge to push came over me and with it came the head, followed very quickly by the rest of the body, into the birth pool, caught by me and immediately drawn up to latch (something I had been advised to do as it is key for your breastfeeding journey). I had been told that once the head comes out to wait for the next contraction to push the rest out as there’s a risk of tearing otherwise, but this kid was clearly very keen to make his arrival and came out in one push with no tearing!

 
Given that about 40 minutes before, I was still convinced that I just needed a poo/fart, it was absolutely surreal that I was now holding my first born child in my arms after giving birth to him at home with only his father as a witness. I’d heard so many complicated birth stories over the years, with the norm being a medical procedure, so it’s still quite wild to me how straight forward the whole experience was - to the point that I was completely unconscious that it was going on. All the after-birth stuff (like dealing with placenta and cord cutting) was also done by us (mostly Jack) and was also surprisingly very straight forward. I actually feel extremely grateful to have not had anyone else present at such a personal, life-changing experience, and I believe it will have positive effects on my son for years to come.

The short, complication-free birth, however, is a testament to the extensive preparation I undertook in the months prior to the birth and this is what I want to help other people to do starting in the near future, as I believe that everyone should have the choice to have a natural, empowered birth experience like I did. I guess people might think I am ‘lucky’ and yeah maybe there’s some element of that, but I also spent A LOT of time preparing mentally, physically and emotionally - unprogramming all prior beliefs I had about birth being scary or dangerous. I truly believe that mindset is the most important factor in the preparation journey and this is what I want to work on with other expecting Mums and Dads. Birth trauma (the affect of the birth on the mother and child) is a serious issue that can have lifelong-lasting effects on humans - which is something I will discuss more on this page and is a big reason as to why I decided to opt for a natural home birth. 
There’s so much valuable information about birthing that is not in the mainstream and so here I am trying to share it as widely as I can. It’s probably something I’ll never shut up about, but rightly so as birth is something that affects everyone and the current state of birthing is so far from what it should be. We have reached a time where we as a society are able to use both wisdom about natural birthing and modern science to give women the birthing experiences they deserve, with as little complications and/or interventions possible ❤️ 

 
Me 2 minutes after giving birth


Straight from the birth pool to skin-to-skin cuddles in bed ❤️ (placenta still attached - in metal bowl)

About 12 hours after giving birth. Being at home and not having to deal with anyone was an absolute godsend. Spent so many hours in the first few days just staring at him in disbelief.